I began studying BuddhaDharma and meditation in 2002 after becoming severely disillusioned with many aspects of my upbringing, including Christianity being forced upon me which resulted in a difficult and somewhat lonely childhood. People comment on my chilled nature, smile, and my deep commitment and energy for the practice. All I can say is that it wasn't always like that! For a long time I battled with anger, resentment, inadequacy, deep feelings of injustice and unfairness from witnessing religious judgement, and then in later years I've been hit with existential anxiety, depression, lack of confidence and feelings of disconnection.
The spiritual practice rescued me, changed my life and allowed the light inside of me to shine again. I've put in SO much work over the last 16 years to find a place of deep love and equanimity.
It's not been an easy journey but looking back I would not have it any other way. I'm actually grateful for it all. Grateful of spending so much time as a child alone in nature, grateful of the discerning analytical mind I developed at a young age studying morality and ethics, grateful of all the shit inside that gave me the fuel to transcend and dedicate my life to awakening. Grateful of all the beautiful people I've had the privilege to meet in yoga shalas, retreats, temples. Grateful of waking up with peace and joy in my heart and the wisdom that has come from looking deeply into the thing I call Self. Grateful of everything in life that has been a Dharma Gate and cause for awakening.
Without all these conditions my practice would be drastically different, perhaps even non-existent. What I thought for many years to be negative experiences are actually the best experiences that have ever happened to me. I cannot imagine living not knowing what I've now began to touch.
So here's to 16 years of Sadhana and all the beautiful joys it's brought. I only hope now that I can find means to inspire others to transcend their limited experience and jump fully into the beauty of their being. Blessed always 🙏🏼
"I am awake," said Buddha, after 49 days of meditating under a Bodhi tree, to curious villagers who wondered if he was a god or devil.
Today marks the anniversary of Siddhartha Gautama's first sermon as Lord Buddha, which he preached in a deer forest at Sarnath, north of Bodhgaya, near where he achieved enlightenment. Buddha means "The Awakened' or 'Enlightened One". To honor this holiday, here's a photo of Buddha Dordenma, the world's largest sitting statue of Buddha Shakyamuni, bronze and gilded, which is located on a hilltop overlooking - or meditating over? - Thimphu. #tbt#thimphu#bhutan#buddhadordenma#firstsermonoflordbuddha#buddhism